I Love Stupid: the only sarcastic humor comic ever

Thursday, January 22, 2009

The virgin retirement plan, pt. 4

narration: So, opportunistic virgin ladies:
narration: Now you know you're literally sitting on top of a figurative gold mine.
narration: Abstinence has become a business model.
narration: You exclusively own a private company everyone wants a part of.  All you have to do is decide how to time your I.P.O. for the highest price possible.
notes: initial pubic offering
narration: At what age will you get the most buck for your bang?

narration: Let us consider things from your potential buyer's perspective:
chart: 
chart: pros workout schedule reading time innocence exuberance experience confidence sapience
chart: cons limited mobility unwelcome advances adolescent pimples middle age wrinkles crone bones

This concludes the "virgin retirement plan" mini-series. I had so many ideas that this could go on for too long; in fact it probably has already. I hope they were enjoyable or enlightening. At least they got me updating daily for a while.

I recently heard someone--I think it was in the Dr. Katz season 1 disc 1 bonus features--say that people groan at a pun because it makes them feel stupid. This makes sense, since they are by nature at least somewhat clever.

I'm not encouraging women to sell their bodies. Just... if you've made that decision for yourself already, there are things to consider.

Start of this series

Monday, January 19, 2009

The virgin retirement plan, pt. 1

One year ago

Wednesday, March 13, 2019

The first dreamer

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