I Love Stupid: the only sarcastic humor comic ever

Friday, January 23, 2009

Cash in on crashin'

passenger: Okay.  Release the geese... now!

passenger: ($)

pilot: To the passenger in seat 12A... we totally just heard you.  (sigh)... I just knew some clown was gonna try this.  F.Y.I., this airline wouldn't have paid you after the crash anyway.  But I'm taking my hands off the controls now.  Just for spite.
pilot: See you in hell.

Those grey splotches are the birds. Just take my word.

This strip's based on a two-part news story:

(1) A U.S. Airways plane crash-landed after geese suicide-bombed the engines. The pilot managed a water landing sans death, so kudos to him.

(2) U.S. Airways is reimbursing ticket costs, which is not surprising. But they are also giving each passenger $5000.

When I read about this second part, I immediately thought two things: (1) That's generous of them, but surely motivated by long-term business interests, and (2) I bet now a lot of people wish they were on that plane. I don't know about you, but when I travel there's a whole lot less than $5000 worth of stuff in my luggage. So if I knew I'd survive, that'd be a pretty sweet deal. I'd have the thrill ride of a lifetime, plus an exciting story to tell my grandkids. Or women in bars; it's versatile like that.

How do you test an engine's vulnerability to birds? The obvious answer, which seems like it should have to be a joke, turns out to be the right one: You throw a bird in there while it's running. Sure, scientists could come up with a bird-substitute object and grind that up instead, but it sounds like a bit of a hassle.

One year ago

Wednesday, March 13, 2019

The first dreamer

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